Information on a brand new educational institution being established in India. Details are as below.
National Corruption Institute of India (NCII)
Affiliated to Indian Parliament
Listed on the World Corruption Index as the World’s Best C-School
Invites Applications for 3 Years' Undergraduate Bachelors Degree in Corruption (BC).
Earn your BC from the World’s Most Reputed Institute for Corruption Studies
OUR COMPREHENSIVE SYLLABUS INCLUDES:-
Financial Theory and Practice
· Transfer of funds through HAWALA for creation of MASS GHOTALA
· FINANCIAL NETWORKING - Movement of money through well engineered networks between State Party Units and Central Party Unit.
· Solicitation methods to increase donations towards Party Fund.
· Theory and application of Popular BRIBE concepts and methods like ‘Chai Pani’, ‘Parcel’, ‘Change’, ‘Gift Box’ , ‘Color TV’, ‘Foreign Trip’ and the ever popular ‘Children’s School Fees’
Public Relations (PR) and Media Management
· Learn how to be MISQUOTED BY THE MEDIA.
· Learn to say the right things to be QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT.
· Excellent training in PARTY SPOKESMANOLOGY. Learn how to argue with spokespersons of other Parties on TV like Professor Manish Tewari and Professor Ravi Shankar Prasad.
· Develop skills for public gestures like NAMASTE, V-for-Victory and HAND WAVING.
· Learn the art of proving all allegations as “BASELESS AND POLITICALLY MOTIVATED”.
· Effectively refute STING OPERATIONS.
· Advanced course in proving that VIDEO FOOTAGE IS FALSE AND MANIPULATED.
Law and Order Module
In this module you will learn how to:
· Commit MURDER and RAPE
· Bring LOCAL POLICE under your control
· Get BAIL super fast if you are ever arrested
· Apply and get speedy ANTICIPATORY BAIL so you don’t get arrested in the first place!
· FIGHT ELECTIONS FROM JAIL! Special training lectures on this important topic will be handled by two authorities, viz., Visiting Professors Shahbuddin and Pappu Yadav!
Advanced Riotology
· Methods to build your own storage houses for HOCKEY STICKS AND WEAPONS to engineer riots.
· Identify and develop your own fuel depots for easy and widespread dispersal of RIOT FRIENDLY PETROL TANKERS
· Form effective partnerships with local liquor stores for easy procurement of ‘DESI DARU’ to get rioters high and ensure awesome rioting!
· Full study in CONTEMPORARY BUS BURNING. New age exciting methods for INSTANTANEOUS BUS COMBUSTION.
· Practicals and field work on Kashmir method of inciting riots through STONE THROWING.
· Actual rioting demonstrations under the expert tutelage of Professor Pravin Togadia.
Gain Extensive Knowledge from Our Faculty of World cl-ASS Professors
Special Modules on:
· ‘2G SPECTRUM – A Telecommunications Perspective’ - By Professor Andimuthu Raja
· ‘Flat Grabbing from Army Jawan’ - By Professor Ashok Chavan
· ‘The Correct Standard of Clean’ - By Professor Lalit Bhanot
· ‘Sports Medal or No Medal, in Corruption Always Get Gold Medal’ - By Professor Suresh Kalmadi
· ‘Application of Corruption on Non Human Species – Stealing Money for Cattle Fodder’ - By Professor Dr Laloo Prasad Yadav
· ‘Building A Corridor for The Taj Mahal Can Cost More Money than Building The Taj Mahal Itself’ - By Professor Mayawati Kumari.
· Agriculture & Food Supply ideal tools for major gains in Money supply by Sharad Pawar
· Also visiting professors from ITALY , "How to make money by connections only"
And Many Many More!!
SO FORGET B-SCHOOL!
BE COOL, JOIN C-SCHOOL.
NCII IS THE BEST
What a shame............Incredible Indian Council of Scamology.........
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- You, Padmakar Shirsat, Vinay Sevlikar, Vijaylaxmi Sahji and 15 otherslike this.
- Leena Mehendale sender of this message felt that if such a school was to be opened it would be more popular than IIMs. That speaks so ill of our social characteristic. The trend must be reversed and people must say that we would neither indulge in lies, frauds and evasions, nor tolerate others doing so. Such strong character comes to a society only after great efforts and sustained respect for values.
- Bidhan Sahu Mam things will need to get worse then only people will find it repulsive and revolt as is happening in the Arab World. The system cleansing cannot happen gradually....
- Leena Mehendale System cleansing without revolt is the sign of mature and alive society, revolution brings lot of unpleasantries. As for as possible cleansing Karte rahna chahiye.
- Avinash Murkute Yes. Perseverance is important amongst those who are dedicated for the Valentine Called India, be them within or outside Gov.
